Obviously, I’m Still Not Ready

2 min readJul 14, 2020

So I went on this casual coffee date a couple of days ago with someone I thought I was “vibing” with for the past two weeks. Well, we’re not “vibing” anymore.

I had this problem ever since quitting my job back in October and trying to get over an overwhelming amount of decisions and emotions all at once. Seeing friends without a pout on my lips or using the silent treatment as a way to display my dissatisfaction with what I was going through then crept into how I was speaking to my friends online and even meeting up with guys as well.

That pizazz I had in the past had completely demolished and I’m starting to not know who I am anymore.

But then I start to ask myself if I’m this way simply because I’m unemployed.

What if I did have a mediocre job? Would I speak about other things than pursuing a job? Would I bring up other topics that aren’t so depressing that my friends won’t start pitying me? Would I be any different?

All of these questions are inevitable to ask during this confusing and difficult time you and I are going through.

But what if we weren’t in this type of situation? Would we be asking these questions? Would we start really analysing what the meaning of life truly is if it wasn’t for this international pandemic? Would we actually stop defining ourselves with our job roles in society? Would I start all of the projects I’ve been meaning to accomplish for all of these years?

Being part of history momentarily and really seeing how things are going, I realised many of us do rely heavily on our jobs and how it shapes our everyday lives. Imagine not having to work and live in a society where the world doesn’t revolve around money. What then? What would many of us end up doing?

Asking these questions and delving myself into it, I start to think about how silly it is to freak out about not having the “dream job” and that life is generally about learning. And that I should stop beating myself up for once and use this time as a learning experience.

So yeah.

This casual coffee date ended up with me texting him back the next day with a response of almost nothing back a couple of hours later, and that’s completely okay. I’ll “vibe” with someone else eventually.




Working on myself through the Internet because then I’d be held responsible if I didn’t.