Hey. It’s been a while.

It’s been four years coming back from everything I thought I hoped and dreamt for — as far away as possible in my own little bubble in the magical land of Europe. Taking my very first trip as a solo person to Stockholm then taking multiple trips after visiting Vienna one time and falling real deep hard for and ending my journey as a teacher in the Czech Republic. And then Covid hit us so hard and the reverse culture shock hit me even harder.

Even though four years have passed and a lot of things have changed, the reverse culture shock still sticks with me just the same way all those romantic memories with an ex-lover might possibly run through your mind like a cheesy movie. The reverse culture shock has dimmed and there would be moments when it would turn into anger even and annoyance, asking why it can’t be this or that way when back in Europe it’s done better. I would shit talk about how everything’s just awful here when back in Europe, it’s all about the quality or whatever.

But then I get a somewhat big girl’s job and move out of my parents’ and have responsibilities like actually having to feed myself and paying bills and now understanding everything my parents told me before making complete sense and maybe NYC isn’t that bad.

Honestly, I’m not sure how I truly feel about being back. I’m not sure if my coming back from all of those times I tried to stay in Europe by thinking of going back to school and applying to endless jobs to support my stay there is my fate or destiny to be back here in NYC. If this is my chance to make it or break it in this city or if going back to one of the many places I visited in Europe is the place I should aim to go back to.