I’m not gonna lie — I’m one of the worst people to be friends with.
My long history of starting off a friendship strong by spending loads of time with them and contacting them to spend time with them falls apart as I start to obsess with a guy I know pretty well who wouldn’t reciprocate the same amount of obsessness or any sort of attention, in general, back so I crawl my way back to my friends so I can sulk by their attention once and as this cycle continues with the next guy.
But as I took my flight back to NYC back in February, my focus on guys have reverted into my engrossed emotions of filling in this sad void by vigorously applying for jobs online. Yet, at this time, I’m learning about the importance of friendship and how invaluable I’ve made it until now.
It’s cheesy to admit it at this age, but friends who have stayed and even left gave me hope during embarrassing moments I would like to forget for the rest of my life.
They were there to pick up my phone calls when I was properly smashed from a bottle or two of wine and crying furiously over the phone or listened to my sob stories as we shared a moment outside the bar with cigarettes in our mouths or messaged me asking if I was doing well as I was on an early bus ride to the airport from Brussels to Prague or brought me a roll of toilet paper after telling them that that’s what a real gift is. And I’m pretty sure there will be moments like these later on.
So I’m here to let you know, current, previous, and future friends, that I will also be there for you during the strongest and weakest points of your lives, to awkwardly stand there and let you cry or complain your hearts out, and to be the friend you deserved when you needed it the most.
I just hope not to disappoint you even more in the future.
Someone attempting to change for the better.